January 15, 2,000

Dear Editor:

In college in the sixties I was against the war in Viet Nam, though not actively. I just felt that we had no business over there. But I supported our service men and women who served over there. They were doing the best they could in circumstances which they had not created and over which they had no control. My own dilemma about what I should do if drafted was made moot when I flunked the draft physical.

Having come of age on the Viet Nam war, I was intensely interested in the end of it; especially our returning POW's. We have all heard by now of PTSD suffered by a lot of our Viet Nam vets: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. This includes flashbacks, anxiety, depression and paranoia. We have read about returning veterans who could no longer fit in to a peaceful society. Some dropped out and went to live in the forest. Others live as loners in a society which has rejected the most defining episode of their lives.

I remember reading about the POW's as they began to return to America. They gave stories full of horror, torture and physical pain and deprivation. Unfortunately they were not welcomed back to their own country with open arms, often meeting open hostility by strangers instead.

But every so often I would read about a POW who came back seemingly unscathed by his experiences. I scoured the newspapers for every story of these returning heroes, but was most intrigued by what the ones had to say who came back emotionally whole. What they said is that they made their enemy their friend.

At first I thought, right, you used to be my enemy and, poof! now you are my friend. But as I continued to read these stories over the ensuing year or so, one thing seemed to stand out. They meant what they said. The true meaning of what transpired gradually unfolded. They learned the language of their captors and torturers. They learned their torturers' names and the names of their wives and children. They got to know these people as individual human beings and treated them with respect even while being tortured by them.

And a funny thing happened. They became friends. And the torture ceased. Because you don't torture your friends. Understanding this had a profound effect on me. Throughout my life when I had trouble with someone in my professional or personal life, I made an effort to get to know them; to understand why they acted as they did. As that happened, at worst, I neutralized their enmity; at best, I gained a new friend. It is truly the best revenge, to make your enemy your friend; and it is the only way to conquer them.

In school I learned that the first World War was the war fought to end all wars. It didn't. As it turned out the terms of peace with Germany directly lead to the rise of Hitler and the second World War. Putting this all together over the years, I realized that the way to make peace is to make peace, not war. A belligerent attitude begets belligerence. A hand outstretched in peace does more to end war than all of the nuclear weapons in our arsenal.

Imagine what we could do if we took the entire defense budget of the United States and used it to make peace! I have never understood this "national interests" thing, especially outside our country's boundary. Our country's ambassadors to other nations are charged with protecting our interests with these other countries. Heck, most of them don't even speak the language!

What they should be doing, these ambassadors of ours, whose monies do not come from the defense budget, is to learn the language of the country to whom they are the ambassador. Then they should learn the customs, ways and history of the people. They should be charged with understanding what these people want and why they act as they do. Then they should bring this information back to our country and tell us, so we, too, can understand them and get on with the business of being friends.

We should at all times respect their differences. Maybe their culture wants a dictator or a monarchy. If we truly believe in self determination, which we preach so loudly and stridently, then we should allow them to have whatever form of government they wish to have. If we truly believe that our way is the best form of government, then we should model it for them as an example of our self determination in action. If they like what we are doing for ourselves and feel it has any merit for them, then they can adapt any part of it they wish for themselves.

We have no business being the world's policeman, for when we are, we are often interfering with their self determination. The only business we have on a global basis is understanding and friendship.

World peace, you say, you are interested in world peace. World peace begins with you. Carry peace in your heart at all times. Every interaction with another human, either big or small, should be based on peace, understanding and respect. If there is anyone in your life with whom you do not feel at peace, go make peace with that individual right now. Use communication, understanding and respect. As you do this, by your example you are teaching them to make peace in their lives also. You will be pleasantly surprised how quickly peace comes to your little corner of the world and how far outward it stretches. Soon it will cover the globe. All because today you chose to make peace in your life. Yes, you are that powerful.

Sincerely,