I attended the Bill Bauman Seminar in Tulsa in early December,1989. I explained to Bill my recent situation in which things on the physical seemed to be not moving at all. Bill said I was dealing with power.

That set me off to thinking about it. Yeah, power. But an active power in which I stood up and commanded the physical world to conform to my desires and visualizations, or a passive power in which I allowed the smooth flow of Universal energy to flow though me and create my life? Undone by my chronic question: The Eastern way or the Western way.

I let this rumble around in my consciousness for an hour or so, not really thinking, but being one with power and the dilemma of what kind of power to have. I thought that the active and passive modes of power mimicked the roles of gender on this level, realizing that we are a total mix of male and female, so therefore we should be a total mix of aggressive and receptive power. But which one should I do when? (Again that question.)

I struggled with this problem until I realized that there is no answer which my finite, conscious mind could summon. I figured that since power was both active and passive, that power just was (it is also one of the attributes of God and therefore of me), I would let power decide when to take charge on this level and when to let things happen.

I saw power as a single entity, neither active nor passive and yet both, residing within my Soul, placed (for me) within the center of my chest. Then I saw that as the energy of space/time/matter moved toward me, Power automatically conformed it to that which I was to experience. The essence of Power moved out of me in all direction through time and space to create.

Power did not conform things to whatever I judged to be in my best interests. The I of my conscious mind is not capable of knowing enough to judge what is in my best interest. I am tired of visualizing and affirming. That feels too much like work, and I have retired from working. I am not just my conscious mind. There is much more to me than that. I do not have a Soul, I AM a Soul. When I become one with my total Self, then I no longer have to do things with my conscious mind which it was in no way intended to do. Nor do I have to be my total Self AT ONCE. Any time I pull more of my Consciousness to encompass more of my total Spiritual being, I have enlightened myself infinitely.

I saw my conscious mind as a farmer sitting on a giant combine (those two words are probably redundant these days!) The combine was the Power. As I (the farmer) moved through space/time/matter (the field), it was automatically conformed (reaped) for me, MUCH IN ADVANCE OF MY CONSCIOUS MIND (the farmer sitting in the combine.)

This image and realization made me feel very powerful, very capable and very happy. I, the conscious mind, no longer had to figure out what was in my best interest, nor did I have to create my life through "mind power", but rather through the totality of my Spiritual Being. Boy, was I relieved! I am along for the ride, the experience of life. I AM the happy reaper.